Reasons Thanksgiving is a terrible holiday.

Sure, you get a few days off from work or school, but as you'll soon see, it's not as good as it seems. Here's why:
  1. Travel
    If you’re within eight hours driving distance, or you have enough cashmoney to fly home, of course you’re going to do it, because it’s Thanksgiving and you’re not an ungrateful bastard. But Lord is the traveling a nuisance. I’ve driven the LA to northern California route several times, and the shortest number of hours it has taken is eight, and that’s leaving Wednesday night after 9 pm. Of course, most schools and employers don’t give the Wednesday before Turkey Day off, so everyone is trying to get to all the same places all at the same time, so wherever you go, the crowds make you feel like you’re in the middle of Miley Cyrus concert filled with idiots. Whoops, I guess that’s kind of redundant, since I can’t think of who else would go to a Miley Cyrus concert besides idiots.

  2. The food
    I’m sure I’ll get a lot of flack about this, but Thanksgiving food is just not as good as everyone always says. I can probably count the number of excellent turkey dinners I’ve had on one hand, and that’s not talking smack about the cook. Turkey is just a difficult dish to prepare well without drying it out. And of course there’s so much of it that you’re stuck eating dry turkey for the next eight days straight. Mashed potatoes are delicious, but incredibly unhealthy and full of carbs (which is awful if you’re a carbohydrate bigot). Don’t even get me started on pecan pie; honestly, who thought it would be good to make a pie out of nuts? I’m betting it wasn’t the Indians.

  3. Commercialism
    Now once you’ve gotten to where you’re going and you’ve stuffed yourself with dry bird and nut pie, almost before the dishes are even washed, all the nice, warm, family-related parts of the holiday are over and you’re expected to spend the weekend shopping and getting ready for the next big holiday. Not only that, but you’re supposed to stand in line early in the morning cold for several hours just to exchange your hard-earned money for, let’s face it, crap that will be forgotten about faster than a new year’s resolution.
It’s just such a shame that the good parts, like hanging out with family and passing out from a food coma, outweigh the bad so much that you basically have to keep celebrating Thanksgiving, even in a foreign country, year in and year out. Still, it’s definitely the worst holiday of the year.
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