G.I. Joe, He-Man, and other childhood heroes

I write for a humor blog with two friends, James Malins and Cherie Michiko, called Misusing Big Words. This post was originally published here:
My childhood friends are coming back to kill some Cobra Commandos.

Any fans of the toys, cartoons, or NES games about G.I. Joe will be ecstatic to know that come August of 2009, they can see Snake Eyes, General Hawk, Gung-Ho and the gang on the big screen, fighting Destro and the evil forces of the Cobras.

Joe has had a surge of popularity in recent years, thanks in part to the hilarious re-dubbed PSAs by Fensler Films. Perhaps that helped contribute to the film idea going forward. Or perhaps it was the wild success of Transformers. Either way, what I want to focus on is all the other childhood toys that are getting the Hollywood snub.

Anybody remember Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots? Where’s their big budget explosion-fest? Sure, there was Robot Jox, distantly similar to the toys, but even a hardcore fan such as myself can admit that the plot might have been lacking slightly on that one. With Transformers just coming out, maybe the market is just the right temperature for another hot robot movie.

Another favorite is Mr. Potato Head. We all loved his wisecracks in Toy Story; why not give him his own film? After all, he’s been experimenting will all different looks lately, he’s practically a chameleon. I’m thinking he’d be good for a spy film. Plus he’s got that sweet, sweet mustache, and who doesn’t love their leading men having a bushy upper lip?

What I’d really like to see is a He-Man flick. Sure, Dolph Lungren and the gang already did Masters of the Universe, but let’s be honest, that movie was ridiculous, and I’m not even including Courtney Cox in my judgment. (With her contributions, the film sinks way, WAY lower than just “ridiculous.”) No, what a new Masters of the Universe film really needs is a 300-style squad of ultra-ripped dudes, crushing Skeletor and his minions in the graphic novel style of Sin City. Can’t you just picture He-Man yelling “THIS IS GRAYSKULL!” as he kicks some fool into a bottomless pit?

Which toys-turned-movies am I missing? What would you like to see brought to the silver screen?
Related Articles

Related Article Widget by Hoctro
Enjoyed the blog?
Get email updates:
Grab the feed:


Subscribe  RSS:   E-mail:  

Blogger Templates by Blog Forum