Selfish Hippie 3: The Return of the Selfish Hippie

I write for a humor blog with two friends, James Malins and Cherie Michiko, called Misusing Big Words. This post was originally published here:
Your favorite hippie is at it again! If you missed previous Selfish Hippie tips, go back. Here's a few more tips to save money that will also save the world.

Sponge Migration
First of all, don’t use a dishwasher unless you really have to. It’s much easier (and uses less water because it doesn’t take as much scrubbing) to wash a dish immediately after using it. To wash dishes, though, you need a sponge. Use it for a little while (and make sure to follow these tips to keep it from smelling bad), then once it has passed its useful life, deport it out of Kitchen Country into Bathroom-ville to use on the tub. Let a few weeks go by, and once you have another sponge being deported from the kitchen, make the tub sponge migrate to Toilet Town. Worried about the next migration? Don’t; after the toilet, that sponge migrates to Garbage-land.

Itching for Scratch Paper?
Receipts left in the car, essays printed and proofread and found typo-ridden, once-a-day calendar pages, and anything and everything with a blank side can be used for scratch paper. I most often use them for grocery lists, then toss the used list in the recycle bin and keep the receipt to use for the next shopping trip. Also, once-a-day calendar pages work exceptionally well as one-time-use coasters, especially since they are usually good conversation pieces (everyone will have something to say about your "365 Dogs Page-A-Day Calendar").

Live Where You Work, or Near Where You Work
If you can get away with crashing on the break room couch at night, waking up early enough to make coffee for everyone in the morning, and figuring out a way to shower, then I say go for it. Most of us can't. That's why the second best thing to do is live near your work. If you can find a place within two miles, that's ideal. Two miles is an easy walk that saves gas while letting you get some exercise, and you'll also get to know the area around your residence much better. Plus, there's probably a grocery store on one of the routes home, so stop by there once a day and pick up the groceries you need and that saves another car trip, saving more gas, saving more money and saving your flabby ass.

Don't Just Work at Work
Speaking of work and groceries, don't go out to eat for lunch unless it's a special occasion. Spend a couple minutes brown-bagging those leftover raviolis from last night, toss in an apple, a yogurt and some baby carrots, and you've got yourself a nice little meal. The best part is, you can do that basically every day for a week and spend less than going out to lunch once (well, maybe... if you don't live in Los Angeles like me, your dining out lunches might be slightly less expensive). Added bonus: if you eat at your desk and surf the web while you do, keep some actual "work" minimized so you can pull it up at any moment. Your boss will think you're a real go-getter because of your working lunch, while all those other shmoes will look like slackers.
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