The Making of a Scandal, Part 2

I write for a humor blog with two friends, James Malins and Cherie Michiko, called Misusing Big Words. This post was originally published here:
This is the second part of a series. To read the previous entry, go here.

As I summed up in the last episode, what we need for this blog to really get its toes a-tappin' and its wings a-flappin' is a good scandal. Like Paris Hilton or Mel Gibson, we need to do something incredibly stupid, act completely irrationally, get totally slutted out, or just plain start dropping hate speech. However, Paris, Mel, the Spears girls, they all have one thing in common--they were all relatively well-known before starting their shenanigans.

Which brings us to...

STEP 1: Get Some Exposure

Sure, we could plaster up some doctored photos of Mother Theresa in a three way with Gandhi and Moses, but if nobody knows we exist, there's nobody to offend and thus, nobody to tell all their friends about "this disgusting site that had incredibly offensive photos called" (Plus, let's be honest. Nobody would believe those photos were real, anyway--Gandhi was always hunger-striking, there's no way he'd have the energy for a menage a trois.)

No, what we need is to get our foot in the door. Be friendly, but coy. Nice, but a little dangerous. Maybe show pictures of a cute and cuddly dog, and then say his name is Fang and he just ate the neighbor's newborn baby kittens. All 8 of them. As appetizers.

That's just one example of something that's not too offensive, but still has some edge.

Or perhaps we could tell a story about a child with some sort of terminal illness (cancer? rabies? whatever gets more sympathy), lead our readers through the tragic, day to day grief punctuated by moments of sweetness and joy, and then in the last paragraph, right before her twelfth (and probably last) birthday, she burned down a high school, just to feel the warmth of the fire and the destruction.

Something like that, I think, would go a long way to gaining readership.

Maybe we should just ask our readers.
What would be the best way to get a small amount of exposure in preparation for Step 2?
What kinds of things could we include in this little blog that would make someone pass it on to a friend?
How could we gain enough of a following to offend and instigate when the time comes?

Watch for part 3, coming soon...
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